muhdshukry

I have about 1.5 hours more before I get ready, so why not a second entry while I'm already at it?

I hate to sleep. Here's why:
1) It's counter-productive,
2) Gives me nightmares,
3) I can sleep all I want when I'm dead.

Mother said the other day that my sister suggested we go to Australia (most probably Melbourne cos my cousin's there) for a holiday in December. If it happens, it'll be Medan in October and Melbourne in December. Wah can't wait.

I really hope my dad's boss comes back to Singapore in August like he said he would. Reason being, he's gonna give me his bike! Not brand new though but heavily under-utilised. It's collecting dust at my dad's workplace while he warms up the engine once a week for the past year. 

I'm really sick of my bike. It's slow, and gives me backaches. I fuckin' loathe it. 
While we're still on the motoring page, my dad handed over to me his boss's helmet. Guess what? IT DIDN'T FIT! I asked my dad, "What kind of caucasian is he? Head so small?!" Oh and I wear an XL sized helmet by the way.

I solemnly vow... to update this blog at least once a week from now on. Here's why:

Had an interview for an internship at National Cancer Society Singapore's corporate communications department last Tuesday. And FYI, it was my first formal interview. Yes, I think being an intern deserves that kind of 'formality'. But apparently, one of the two executives who interviewed me kept insisting that it was 'just a chat', nothing formal. *flips fucking table*

I came into the office, dressed formal with ties and everything. First thing she did? Looked at me from top to toe. That was when she said about 'just a chat' thing. She repeated it again at the end of the interview by the way.

And if you're wondering how the interview went? Not good. 

So now back to why I solemnly vowed to update this blog. During the interview, one of them asked if I write. I'm really not the kind of person who lies, so I was frank and said no. So here I am, a journalist in the making, and I do not write. The only time I write was for my assignments - which in simpler terms - when I have to. And that ladies and gentlemen, was one of the many reasons why I think I screwed the interview.

My own answer knocked some sense into me though. I need to write more. 

Enough about the interview, I don't wanna think about it.

I'm supposed to send the girlfriend to work later, in 3 hours time in fact but I don't feel like sleeping. Gonna be a long day today, class in the afternoon and dinner with a few ex-NS mates. It might sound crazy but I do miss NS and my colleagues.

This week marks the opening of a new school term. Term break before that felt short, like never before. Klang & Genting with family and relatives, followed by Jakarta with girlfriend and her mother. Sigh back to reality now.

hello. I am not Shuckry. I am the girlfriend who's too lazy to update her blog but not too lazy to update her boyfriend's blog. please thank me. this blog was collecting spider webs of different patterns and colours.

we're supposed to be on a My Wife and Kids marathon but he has decided that The Andromeda Strain on Channel 5 is much more interesting. Noob. and yes, I know My Wife and Kids is pretty old school but it's too damn good to not watch it again.

we caught Chronicles at the theatres just now. it's quite cool although some parts were a bit unrealistic. but whatever, it's Hollywood.

oh, what do you know. crappy Andromeda Strain has ended. gotta go!

So Baby just died. It's my cat FYI, and yes its name is Baby.

It sucks to see one by one they die. Certainly painful to watch them suffer the moment they go. NYU Tisch Asia, the school my dad's working with, is slowly becoming a cat graveyard.

I guess it should go anyway, its been suffering for a very long time. And just now, we realised that there were maggots at its rear end. Sigh.

Hang in there nenek. You have to.

Fine, I won't joke around anymore. I've never been a good joker anyway.

0600hrs, and I can't sleep. So here I am, not like there's anything else to do. No wait, I'm frying chicken nuggets haha.

The question to avoid for me now would be, "What are you up to?"
Why? Because I've been up to absolutely nothing for the past week or so.

I've been bumming quite a lot since term break started. It's supposed to be a bad thing, but I guess not entirely. Like one of those moments where I would just drift into blankness and think of things that I'm not supposed to think of. Yeah I've been doing that a lot lately. Bumming gave me a lot of 'chance' to reflect. Nothing new, same old stuffs. 

Had supper with Shaun and Camilla after a long hiatus (by every one of us). Shaun's flying to Korea in 8 hours time, Cam's going to China in 6 days. Where will I be going? Bukit Batok still. (It's in Singapore if you're wondering)

Then I thought of the last time I got on a plane. It was 13 years ago, when I was 10. Where was I headed? Saudi Arabia. All I remember was how loud the engine was when it was about to take off. And also how much I agonized just to watch a show on board because... nvm I don't know how to explain. No 10 year old would ever have to go through the same shit I went through right noew, even in economy class. 

I guess traveling was never on my family's list. I'm sure we would if we had the money, but I guess we haven't got it made. But it's okay, I still feel blessed nonetheless.
I am a little jealous of them. Just a little. 

I swear I had a lot more on my mind of what to blog about. Now I can't remember them. I hate it whenever it happens. Like it's at the back of my fucking mind at it just won't come out.

I think... I was a girl in my previous life. That would be the case if I believe in reincarnation that is.

My ultimate goal in life was to be independent in all aspects of life. Emotionally, I almost had it. I was single for 4 bloody years. But it seems all those dreams have crumbled down when I met the gf. I really feel disturbingly gay-ishly lonely whenever I'm not with her.

I don't know how many days I've not slept. Like real comfortable sleep. I guess the last was at Shiqin's birthday on the yacht, right beside the gf and that damn comfortable bed settings. And now, I've been living on naps. Didn't sleep at all 2 nights ago, and took 3 naps last night. Now I'm up at 8 in the bloody morning and it feels damn weird.

Oh yah Shiqin's advanced birthday celebration on the yacht last weekend was... quite an experience. It was nice and everything, and I'm sure everyone had fun. I'm damn well sure I could get used to that kind of life, you know? Especially if I were to spend time on it with the loved ones and all. And today is Shiqin's real birthday... so here's a shout out to that makcik Joo Chiat. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

I have an exam due on Monday and an assignment on Tuesday, so wish me luck. I'm really not in a mood to do anything currently but be in the gf's arms. I'm almost certain I'm gonna screw up this module anyways.

And how can I stop missing the gf if she keeps doing random sweet stuffs which makes me miss her even more? Last night, I found these in my berm's pocket. I don't even know when she placed it there.



You see, as sweet as the gesture may be, it totally didn't help with the whole missing and independence thingy.

As corny and cheesy as it may sound, I totally mean it when I say I couldn't think straight unless I see the gf at least once a day. 

I think it was last week that we spent the afternoon at Sopi's new place. Her place isn't done yet with the renovations and all, but it was really nice and big and it was a mansionette. Then after Zaimah came over with Danish, the cute toddler. 

I'm not the kind of guy that's good with kids, but Danish is just so damn cute. Now I know why they spend so much time with him. Little did we know, we had our own "what's gonna be our future" moment, the gf and I right at that moment. 

As I looked upon Sopi's flourish new place, I can't help but wonder if I were to be able to provide the same for the gf in the future. I know it's a long shot and a bit far fetched, but the future always antagonizes me from time to time without fail. And when we got home, the gf said that while I was spending time with Danish, she imagined our future and how I'm going to be a good father. I know we shouldn't expect as it will only lead to disappointment, but sometimes we just can't help it. 

Haven't had a proper sleep in 2 days. Including tonight, make it 3. 0447AM now, and whole day of school later.

How I told you how fucked up my life is right now?

I've been down and demoralised in many aspects of my life right now, but my girlfriend never fails to be there for me.

Saying, "I love you" to her would be an understatement for what I feel for her right now. She means the world to me.